Hyphy School Musical
by MadiWillow
Summary: Incredibly random parody of High School Musical.


**AN:** This is the weirdest thing I've ever written. And it's so dumb. But I wrote it anyway. And I'm posting it anyway. I'll probably end up deleting it because I suck at humor. And there's probably already thousands of HSM parodies out there, but, well, I haven't read them. So... yeah. Tell me what you think of this.

**Title: **_Hyphy School Musical  
_**Rating:** _T  
_**Author: **_MadiWillow  
_**Summary: **_Incredibly random parody of High School Musical.  
_**Genre:** _Humor/Parody  
_**Chapter: **_One-shot_

Troy Bolton sat in his room on his Spongebob Squarepants bed sheets, eating his heart out in chocolates. You see, Troy Bolton was a teenager – and, even more unusual, completely misunderstood. His mean father overworked him in playing basketball and winning the championship, but there was so much more to Troy than that. First of all, he had unhealthy obsession with a certain yellow sponge; his room was decked out in Spongebob paraphernalia, although his father didn't know this. And second of all... he just wanted to _sing_.

He didn't know why though.

"Up next, Danny Phantom."

"Oh, I hate this show!" complained Troy. He switched off Nickelodean and onto Disney Channel instead. To his amazing luck, his favorite movie was just starting. "Hyphy School Musical! Yes!" The movie played inexplicably at seven-thirty in the morning.

Troy also had quite a liking for said Disney Channel Original Movie. He hadn't been much of a fan for the sequel though; the only thing he liked was the Zanessa. They are just so cute, their chemistry can be felt through the screen! Ashley Tisdale needs to get over herself and go out with Lucas instead. Lashley forever!

And that Zac Efron. He was so dreamy. Troy wished he could be him.

"Troy, you have to go to school!"

"No one understands me!" cried Troy, and he wept.

Thirty minutes later and Troy had arrived at school, wearing his favorite Spongebob T-shirt. He was sitting in his desk in homeroom as stereotypical high school students passed him by. There was Chad Danforth, the token stupid sidekick. Then there was Shar Pei Evans and her twin brother Shih Tzu. Shar Pei somehow was the most popular girl in the school, even though she was head of the drama department and had no friends.

There was Jason, the typical even-stupider friend of Troy's. There was Zeke, who dressed in black and hated the world. As if he had some sort of secret...

Then there was Martha Cox, who for some reason was in their homeroom even though she hadn't been before. She was the only fat kid in the school and, as a result, was given a solo. They can't discriminate, after all.

And then... Gabriella Montez.

Troy knew the name of the new student the moment she walked in, although he wasn't sure how. She was... gorgeous. She had perfectly curled brown hair, full pink lips, perfectly tanned skin, and sparkly brown eyes. Her smile lit up the entire room, and she seemed to emit a glow.

Naturally, everyone turned their noses up at her.

"Look at that nerd," scoffed Shar Pei, and Shih Tzu laughed merrily.

Gabriella, who has more commonly become known as Gabi, Gabs, Ella, and Bri, parted the crowd as she walked to her desk in the back of the room. Troy felt strangely... drawn to her.

"Hey Gabriella Montez," called Troy.

Gabriella looked up and flashed her pearly-whites at him. "Yes, Troy Bolton?"

"I'm feeling a weird connection between us. Let's strike up a friendship and audition for the school musical together."

"That plan would surely turn the school upside down. After all, I'm the beautiful yet incredibly smart new student, shunned by all, and you're the hot star basketball player who had posters of himself blown up and taped on the walls all around the school, but you're too afraid to stand up to your father."

"...so is that a yes?"

"Why not?"

Taylor, the token black best friend, turned to Gabriella and said, "Girl, whatchu playin' at? You can't audition for da musical!"

"How come?" asked Gabriella innocently. Her hair blew from an invisible wind.

"Cuz you gotta be in da Academic Decathlon, sista! The musical _is not yo place_," Taylor whispered dramatically.

Chad had, too, grabbed his best friend's arm at this revelation. "Troy, you can't do this," he said in a low, husky voice.

"Why not?" Troy breathed back, looking past Chad's wild hair and into his chocolate eyes.

"Because it's... forbidden," said Chad, barely above a whisper.

Their heads began to move closer together... they were getting ever-so-close... they were so close that Chad's hair was touching Troy's...

"Troy. How could you?"

Troy pulled away from Chad to look at Shih Tzu, who was glaring at him through tears.

"We have been having a secret gay relationship for years, and now you're suddenly attracted to Chad and... _girls_!?"

Troy frowned sympathetically at Shih Tzu. "Sorry, but I have to be with Gabriella. It's... fate. There are many Troyella fans waiting for this."

"But what about TroyTzu fans?" asked Shih Tzu sadly.

"Fanfiction, my friend," said Troy. "Fanfiction."

Shih Tzu wasn't a friend to fanfiction. He was always pushed to the back of the story, or ended up with Kelsi. Where did _that _come from? Or, worse yet, Gabriella and Taylor. He didn't even speak with them the entire movie! The atrocity of it all made him sick. He only liked TroyTzu stories, or the occasional ChadTzu and even SharTzu. His favorites list was filled with them.

How dare Troy get with Gabriella? Shih Tzu whispered to his sister, "We have to get Troy back for this. I say we sabotage the school musical."

"I like that plan," said Shar Pei. "Besides, we don't want that bitchy Gabriella to steal Troy Bolton away from me!"

Gabriella, her skin glowing with perfection, smiled at Shar Pei. "Hi!"

Shar Pei sneered back. "She is _such_ an ass." Her hand shot up. "Miss Darbus. The auditions for the musical have to be changed to _now_."

There was an instant uproar. "They can't be now!" cried Troy dramatically. "The basketball game is now!"

"And so is the Decathlon!" wailed Gabriella.

Sports championships and academic competitions are always scheduled during school.

"What? I am oblivious to everyone except Shar Pei's words!" the drama teacher yelled stupidly.

Shar Pei stood up, suddenly wearing a blue sequinned dress, and she and Shih Tzu ran to the front of the room and started to perform "Bop to Top."

Whilst the performance was going on, Troy randomly turned around to Chad and said, "Get off my case, I'm going to play in the game. Gabriella means nothing."

In the back, a single tear ran down Gabriella's perfect cheeks.

"I TOLD YOU!" shouted Taylor. "All men are pigs. Women rule."

"Gabriella," gasped Troy in horror. "I didn't know you were here."

"I'm always here," she whispered mysteriously.

"Please, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

"Troy," sighed Gabriella. She was pissed but her Mary-Sue personality forced her to not get mad. "It's okay. I'm fine with it."

"But I love you."

"What?"

"...what?"

Shar Pei and Shih Tzu's performance finished quickly. "Did we get the parts?" asked Shar Pei excitedly.

"Troy! Gabriella!" called the drama teacher in a very caveman-like fashion. "Are you guys here?"

"Gabriella, please take me back. This is... _the start of something new_."

Gabriella's eyes teared up – again. "Oh, Troy. I don't know what that beautiful song means because we skipped that part in the story, but yes! Yes, I will sing with you!"

The two joined hands and skipped up to the front of the class, but Darbus decided that they couldn't audition. See, she was a drama teacher who didn't care if the most talented person got the part, just that they didn't show up thirty seconds later for auditions. Understandable.

"Please, Miss Darbus?" begged Gabriella. "Oh, please?"

Miss Darbus looked at Gabriella in a new light. She was so... beautiful. "Sure, Miss Montez," she said dreamily. "Do whatever you want... to me."

The students, being in a Disney Channel movie, laughed good-naturedly. "Oh, Miss Darbus," giggled Troy. He turned to Gabriella. "You ready?"

Gabriella had suddenly realized that there were other people in the room, and got scared. "N-n-no," she shivered. "I c-c-c-c-c-an't."

"Just like kindergarten, remember?" said Troy.

She gasped and looked up at him. "You like Hyphy School Musical too?"

Troy nodded, his eyes boring deep into hers. "I _love_ it. And you know... you bear a striking resemblance to Vanessa Hudgens."

Gabriella shook her head furiously. "I cannot be associated with a girl who poses naked. I would never do that."

"Not even for Zac Efron?" said Troy knowingly.

Gabriella giggled uncontrollably. "Well, maybe for him. He's a cutie."

"Then, let's do it." He took her hand and they began their performance of Breaking Free. The song had to do with the plot, but they'd skipped that part in this story too.

So, the Hyphy School Musical kids lived happily ever after. Chad and Taylor, the orthodox black couple, got together, Zeke remained depressed about his cooking secret and continued pining after Shar Pei, and Troy and Gabriella received the parts in the school musical even though all they did was run around a moon while Shar Pei and Shih Tzu actually performed a musical dance routine. They went on to become the most successful movie in Disney Channel history, earning the studio hundreds of millions of dollars and spawning such paraphernalia as underwear and chocolate biscuits. Because, really, who wouldn't want Zac Efron's face on their vagina?


End file.
